One of my favorite things is taking someone to the Great Lakes for the first time - or describing how you can fly over them and see only hundreds of miles of glittering blue water and no coasts at all; how they have their own Coast Guard (the only lakes to do so); that the Earth's rotation steers their currents; that they're studied using ocean models; that they have wrecked more than 6000 ships - and watch them realize that the word "lake" is misleading and that they had no idea of the size and majesty of them at all.
Some fun facts about her majesty, Lake Superior:
- It has a surface area of 31,700 sq. miles, roughly the size of South Carolina or Austria.
- It's incredibly deep and has enough water to cover all of North and South America to a depth of 12 inches.
- Waves over 30 feet have been recorded.
- Its deepest point is 1,333 feet, which is the third lowest point in North America
- Its average temperature is around 36 degrees Fahrenheit (2 Celsius), which inhibits bacterial growth in bodies, diminishing bloating and gas, and frequently shipwreck and drowning victims to sink to the bottom and never be recovered.
I’m so emotional about dinosaur stuffed animals,,, there are these creatures, extinct long before any of us were alive, but we found their bones and their eggs and their footprints. And we made drawings and models of what they could’ve looked like. And we made them into stuffed animals so we could hold them. We made them soft so we could love them. I’m sobbing
one of the cooler parts of growing up is realizing that you were being incessantly lied to throughout highschool and that fat gay people are not only capable of being desired, but are actively and often voraciously lusted after
transcription by @jub3r7
"This is getting ridiculous now. Where did you find this contraption? How did you build it? You're not really rolling them straight :/ I'm not sure I like this at all, I don't like the noise. See what's the point! That didn't break with the contraption, so it doesn't coun- I liked that one. That one was neat and clean. It was a clean break. Don't like the noise - she was with chil- you're BEATING the child! It's just sick. It's twisted - HE was with child. Okay. Something about this is... where are these children coming from? Seems unnecessary that they're all pregnant. Just straight beating that Pepsi and their plastic. I don't like this - it's SADISTIC. This is sadistic. I don't - they're SPRITZING me!" *from other video, a man's voice, vaguely sounding like a moan: oooooooooh. oohhhh* lady: "I'm sorry. What was that?" *last bottle falls* (with disappointment) "No."
I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’
Saying ‘you should be bad!!’ In like Gay Voice to a white woman at starbucks has like the same psychological impact as going like ‘who’s a good boy?’ To a dog. It makes them so excited in a really endearing way.
sometimes when life is bad i remind myself that i will never have to date a shitty boyfriend who every one of my friends and family hates and act like im enjoying myself love and light





















